Universal Compassion Can Harm - On compassion baiting

Actually written MARCH 6, 2014 -

Most of us approve of universal compassion in at least a sentimental way. But is it always helpful to wish it for others? Here’s how the wish for others to feel universal compassion can lead to a hurtful glitch in one’s own universal compassion: Suppose others are survivors of abuse who have a strong aversion against feeling compassion for their abusers. They would find such compassion an insult added to their injury. They would find it a means of stifling their voice of much needed protest. Compassion for their abusers hurts them – deeply. (Abuse survivors have a name for the pressure to feel compassion for their abusers: “Compassion Bating”.) Therefore, one's own compassion for abuse survivors should nullify one’s wish that they acquire universal compassion. If one wishes that others feel universal compassion, one should restrict that wish only to those who have not been abused and can emotionally afford to feel such compassion. But is it ok to wish that the abuse survivors had never been abused so that they could afford to feel universal compassion? Or is this wish also hurtful?

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